Loss of libido is not easy to go through. You may find that you have become nonresponsive in the vaginal area, even if you have had a great sex life in the past. Stimulation and lubrication have gone down dramatically, which makes for an uninteresting and sometimes painful experience. This can be really upsetting, especially when you do not know why it is happening and what to expect. Rest assured that there are many things you can do to remedy your symptoms and maintain intimacy.
What Is Going on?
- Changes. There are drastic changes occurring in your body during perimenopause, the stage leading to the conclusion of your monthly cycle, or menopause. Your sex hormones - estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone - are dramatically decreasing, which directly affects your love life.
- Lowered testosterone. This sex hormone is responsible for your becoming turned on and generally “in the mood”. Without sufficient testosterone, it may be hard to get excited, and even harder to reach an orgasm.
- Lowered estrogen. The decrease in estrogen will cause many physical changes. You will have decreased blood circulation to your sex organs, which will make you less sensitive to the touch. It will also cause vaginal dryness and thinning vaginal walls, which can make penetration painful.
Remedies for Loss of Libido
Try breathing and meditation 15 minutes a day to put aside worries, as stress is a main trigger for loss of libido. With every inhale, feel love enter your body, and with every exhale, release your concerns. To balance out estrogen levels, try consuming phytoestrogenic teas and supplements. The best herbs for this are black cohosh, dong quai, and red clover. Finally, try aphrodisiac foods. Garlic contains allicin, which increases blood flow in the body and to the vagina. Studies have also found that women who consume dark chocolate enjoy sex more.
Remedies for Dryness
Some conventional lubrications can cause irritation, infection, and actually dry you out in the long run. It is best to try a natural lubricant, as they are less likely to present side effects and feel great. Tea tree oil, vitamin E based oils (e.g., olive oil), and coconut oil not only lubricate, but deeply moisturize and help repair the vagina as well.
You should also keep active. About 30 - 40 minutes of cardio or a yoga session will strongly assist blood flow to the sex organs and make you feel wet and sexy. Make sure to stay hydrated with the equivalent of eight glasses of water a day. Nothing will dry you up like dehydration.
The Most Important Tip
Keep having sex. This is of utmost importance. If you make no effort and shy away time after time, your libido will continue to decrease. The sexual cues to the body will only become weaker. Sex is the number one way to encourage your body. Use the natural remedies listed above for an improved experience.
Also, your partner will be supportive and understand the changes your body is going through. What your partner may not understand is your continuous disinterest in trying. They will understand, as you should too, that this is simply a shift in your sex life, not an end. Read about natural ways to enhance your libido as a couple.
This Is Temporary
Finally, realize the fact that this is temporary. Many women report that their sex drive goes way up once menopause ends. Hang in there with knowledge of what is happening in your body, support your body through and through, and allow natural remedies to assist you in the meantime.
- Better Health. (2013). Menopause. Retrieved February 24, 2014, from http://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/bhcv2/bhcarticles.nsf/pages/Menopause?open
- Office on Women's Health. (2010). Sexual difficulties. Retrieved February 24, 2014, from http://www.womenshealth.gov/aging/sexual-health/sexual-difficulties.html