Many women experience a lower libido during menopause. This can be due to a range of factors, including hormonal changes, vaginal dryness, and time constraints. It is important to remember that a lower libido is not a problem by itself. People have varying levels of sexual desire, and if you are content with your sex drive, then there is no problem. Society often makes women feel inadequate and guilty no matter what their sex drive is.
Increasing Libido during Menopause
Some women find their lowered sex drive confusing and frustrating, and it can also put strain on romantic relationships. Here are ways to boost sex drive and make sex a more enjoyable and frequent experience:
Talk sincerely with your partner
It's important that you and your partner enjoy spending time together outside of sex. This could mean going on date nights regularly, cuddling up on the sofa to watch a movie, taking walks together, perusing the local farmer's market, or doing whatever activity you can both enjoy together.
If you and your partner are having communication problems or are searching for another way to strengthen your relationship, it may be a good idea to see a couples' counselor or therapist.
Foreplay before sex
It's important that your partner knows that their needs are not more important then yours. Your needs may be not having sex, they may be for extended foreplay, or they may be for intimacy that does not involve penetrative sex. Foreplay and stimulation increase blood flow to the vagina, which is important for arousal and creating vaginal moisture.
Ask your partner what unfulfilled fantasies he or she has, and share yours. Try visiting a sex shop, watching porn, or having sex in a different place or position than usual. Many people find role-playing and other forms of sex exciting, but it's always important that you and your partner know that you are both consenting to what is happening.
Many women find vibrators or other sex toys greatly boost their libido and sexual pleasure. A woman does not need a partner to have enjoyable sex, and research shows that using a vibrator increases blood flow and vaginal moisture, which can help facilitate sexual pleasure.
Embrace your own body
It is important to feel valuable and beautiful in your own body in order to have the sex drive that you desire. Many women feel uncomfortable or lose confidence as they age because their bodies and physical appearance change. However, finding a way to embrace who you are and how you look can help you get the libido that you desire.
More Information about Loss of Libido
It is important that loss of libido is only treated when it actually becomes a problem. If your loss of libido is bothering you and lowering your quality of life, it may be a good idea to see a doctor. Click on the following link to find out more about managing loss of libido.
- National Health Service UK. (2015). Loss of Libido. Retrieved October 28, 2015, from http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/loss-of-libido/Pages/Introduction.aspx
- Wylie, K. (2007). Assessment & management of sexual problems in women. Journal of the Royal Society of Medicine, 100(12), 547-550. doi: 10.1258/jrsm.100.12.547